I don’t really know when it started. Wait, scratch that - it’s always been this way. I just don’t know when I noticed.
I woke up gradually, from a dream that melded with reality, and it wasn’t until the last vestiges of unconsciousness had been pulled away that I realized that those reconciliations and adventures were false memories, dissolving as I tried to revisit them, leaving only longing in their place. There was no alarm to wake me, just a gradient shift, the colours and shades in between intangible, the first leak impossible to pinpoint.
I woke up, and now I can never fall back asleep. Here I am, for better or for worse.